just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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