just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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