very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
