If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
