I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
