...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
