Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
