her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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