Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
