sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
