Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize