I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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