I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Where did you get a picture of my penis
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Found your dick twin last night
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
