We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
