The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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