'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just high enough for therapy.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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