he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
