brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
