the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
