Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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