Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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