Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
