based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
