He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
