im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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