I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
