i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
