It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
