The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
