You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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