i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
