are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
