so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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