Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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