glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
