I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
