Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
