All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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