i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
