idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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