Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
