I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
