i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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