Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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