Sponge bath it is.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
