in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
