Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
