Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
