shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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