do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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