If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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