i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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