This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
