Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
