My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize