I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
