thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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