i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We have started to decorate penises.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
