so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
