you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
