my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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