walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
